A testimony. A resource. A memoir.

I cannot believe tomorrow if the first day of Autumn, 3 chapters down... my favorite season ushers in as we seek to close out my least favorite year. Well, I say that because aren't we all supposed to say we hate 2020? I mean, I have hated so much of it - feeling robbed of this intrinsic safety my heart normally bears, of experiences for my kiddos (and me) that were erased from the calendar, of normal community that feels slightly awkward in the reopening stages..... feeling disheartened by the political climate, anxious for the growing tensions on what seems to be polarizing debates, broken for the exposed evils of racism, sexism, exploitations, and on and on and on that we have met head on this year.... feeling confused on how we move forward. Yep, I've hated a lot of 2020. I've grieved the reality we find ourselves in as a people, as a nation.  But on the flip side:  I have to pause for a moment and remember March 2020, about 55 years ago, when the world shut down and my...

From July 2013 until November 2017, BJ and I faced secondary infertility. This painful road was so isolating, heartbreaking and awkward... I cringe, actually, thinking back on some of those dark days. When we were surprised to find out we were pregnant with Dorothy Grace, our real-life miracle and testimony of God's kindness to us, it was truly like a fairy tale. Too good to be true. Unfathomable. Pinch me, daily, kind of joy. And pretty much every single day of her life has continued to give us this sense of wonder, of joy, or praise and worship to God for entrusting us with her life. Its as if now I can look back at those dark days and exhale.... I know the ending, I can look back without those panic attacks creeping in, because Dorothy Grace is in my arms today. She's the constant banner in our lives that point us to Christ, reminding us that we can trust Him! The gift of her life has made us appreciate, celebrate, and more deeply love Eleanor and Tripp, as well. Truly, our ...

It is no secret, though of course it is not in all of my conversations, that we have been struggling with infertility for the last 4 years. My last pregnancy was in 2013 and resulted in an early miscarriage.... from that point on, we have been unable to conceive. We've visited all our doctors, specialists, had tests run and small procedures done... but we have never once seen those sweet two lines on a test again. I won't lie - it sucks and it has sucked every day for the last 4 years. But somehow, the Lord has also really done a great work in my heart through this struggle and wanting. For the longest time I would pray Daniel 3:18 just yearning to believe the words that even "if not, He is still good." Truly, I didn't believe it - didn't want to believe it because then I told myself that was a way of letting God off of the hook - if I confessed that He was good, His plan for our family is good, regardless if I get what I want.... well, then just take what I w...

Today is an anniversary that I imagine many who have one, like me, hate to recognize. It was in the wee hours of the morning just one year ago that I woke up and knew.... that precious Baby #3 that my body was carrying, was no longer going to be a baby I would carry on earth. To say it was horrific would be an understatement. Not just because of the physical act in and of itself, but because in that very moment hopes, dreams, plans for our future were stolen. I remember being so matter-of-fact when I told BJ what was happening... its was about 4am, so it kind of seemed matter-of-fact. But it was in waking up that morning... realizing it wasn't a dream. It was a nightmare... my real life nightmare. Something strange happened as I lost that sweet baby... many of my close friends are aware, but about 10 days later I had a pretty bad fall while picking up Tripp. When I fell, I didn't get back on my feet for the next 5 weeks (literally) with the exception of Eleanor's birthday...

So, not sure how "flirty" I actually am... good thing two out of three ain't bad (I hate the word ain't)! This past week I turned 30 years old - really?!? - 30! I truly feel like moments ago I was just a wee tot myself (or at least in college) thinking that 30 was ancient. YIKES! But now that it is here, I can truly say I am really excited about what this next decade holds.... and to kick it off, I figured I would reflect on 30 (cheesy, I know) things in my life that I am truly thankful for: 1. My relationship with Jesus Christ - I am humbled that He has chosen me, saved me and is continuing a work in me. 2. My husband, BJ. No one (on this earth) loves me the way he does - he is truly my best friend and I am blessed to be his wife. 3. Eleanor and BR #2 - I LOVE MY KIDS. I love no one on earth the way that I do them - it is instinctive, undeniable and completely refining. The joy they bring to my life is indescribable (even without having met BR #2 yet... I love t...

Send some rain, would You send some rain?  'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again  And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade  Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?  Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down  Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid  But maybe not, not today  Maybe You'll provide in other ways   And if that's the case . . .  We'll give thanks to You, With gratitude  For lessons learned in how to thirst for You  How to bless the very sun that warms our face  If You never send us rain. Daily bread, give us daily bread  Bless our bodies, keep our children fed  Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight  Wrap us up and warm us through  Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs  Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time  Or maybe not, not today  Maybe You'll provide in other ways  And if that's the cas...

that no one reads your blog, the funnest thing happens! Journey over to my new cyber-friend's bloggy blog to read a great story about just how small the blogger world is! While you are there, check out her adorable blog and beautiful family ! Brooke, I hope to meet you in person someday! And to anyone else out there reading this little diary to my family (I don't scrapbook, so this is for our kids!) we love having you visit... if we don't know each other, shoutout so that I can read your blog too (yep, I do that too). Hopefully you enjoy our crazy antics, obsessive nature and attempt at witty posts so that Eleanor (and all of our children) think we are cool :). Today, I feel like Julie & Julia (dramatic much?).... so, who wants to offer me a contract for publishing??!?.... hey, this future stay at home mom would love to write for mula... haha!

T oday BJ and I became the proud owners of this darling little home!! We started looking for houses the very beginning of January, and well before February is even off of the calendar, we are HOME OWNERS!! We are SO excited for this new transition (in the midst of an even bigger transition).... We now are suburbians.... we our residents of the Town of Coppell! We are so excited because the neighborhood couldn't be more perfect for us... SAFE, young families, one high school (so far), and tons of parks! And my best pal Minpop lives a mile away... Woot Woot Mindy! (haha!) We will post pictures of the inside of the house soon... and when I say soon, don't hold your breath. Soon may be sometime in the coming months... stay posted! The Lord is so gracious to us and we feel honored to bring Baby Rector home here later this summer!!

Wired for Intimacy T his was a post on a religious related blog I look at from time to time. It just so happens that I was having a conversation with a colleague very recently that incorporated all this and more. Intimacy on every level is an important concern for married couples. I thought that what this post revealed was a good book for couples to look into reading and if nothing more to have a conversation about the struggle and it defeats and victories in marriage. This is one, primary/major, place that Satan swiftly with shredding results cuts marriages up. Expectations can be communicated and resolved, this has longer and deeper wounds than many men and women know or give credit. The opening paragraph truly speaks volumes to the roaring lion seeking those to destroy. And when I say destroy, this morning it has a very new and different ring in my ears. After so many conversations and such long anguish myself with the difficulties of the christian life being destroyed never seemed ...

So there have been some recent happenings that have confirmed overwhelmingly that I am my father's daughter. For the most part, I truly am blessed to say that I take after him... I mean: 1. He did pass his name on to me... - James Michael Gross / Karen Michael Rector 2. We both have a ridiculous sense of humor... meaning he tells awful jokes and I laugh. 3. We both are probably the loudest people you will ever meet... if you are in a room with both of us, watch out (that really goes for my brother Ben and sister Katie, too). 4. We both have a personal, passionate relationship with Christ... I can honestly say mine has been greatly shaped by the pursuit I have observed my dad, and mom, have towards the Lord. 5. We are both cheap... now I don't mean cheap in a negative way at all. I mean that we both really enjoy managing money, SAVING it for bigger purchases rather that spending it frivolously on "junk" we probably don't need (I have my mom to spoil me for those th...

Dear Faithful (and now, probably faithless) Readers of Black Tie, White Dress: As you all know, and probably feel the effects of almost daily, Karen Michael Gross Rector rarely, if ever, updates her wonderful blog. I believe she doesn’t update on a regular basis for a few reasons: 1. She likes the attention some of us give her ever-stagnant blog. 2. She lacks confidence in her blog because Caroline Lamberth has taken to posting excerpts from her junior high diary on her blog. That is stiff competition. 3. She simply doesn’t care about her followers. 4. She is busy playing wifey to Beej. 5. She is busy memorizing every single dance danced on So You Think You Can Dance each week. This added on to her very busy job and social calendar just doesn’t leave much time to post on her blog. Being the author of a blog myself, I know how she feels. My social calendar is packed until April 2010, I have to watch 13 different reality television shows each week, I like to sleep, I work, sometimes I w...

Well looky here.... I found myself on YouTube! All I did was type in "Wheel of Fortune" and there we were.... For those of you who don't know, in 2005 my best pal, Lucy, and I had the opportunity to make the big bucks. Call it 15 minutes of fame, I call it a lifetime of shame. Why? Watch the following videos and you will know why... Let's start with the ridiculous "rainman" we played against, followed by our really exciting bios... Here we are losing the jackpot round - awesome. We will end with the ever-so-embarrassing parting gift they gave and our genuine gratitude for being on the show (don't judge). In all seriousness, this was one of the most fun experiences of my life. I mean really, who can top that? (If you can, don't tell me.) "We are all smiles, Pat." xoxo, KaLuce

I have been tagged - not going to lie - I am glad! I needed an idea for a blog entry today... my life is just NOT that interesting and I never have anything to say except for pathetic attempts to market reality television. So, thank you Allison for this tag. 1. Mention the person who tagged you. 2. Complete the list of 8's. 3. Tag eight of your wonderful bloggy friends! 8 things I look forward to: 1. Going to the lake tomorrow with BJ, Paige and Bret. 2. The "Sisterhood of YaYas Now & Then" road trip to up the East Coast to Philadelphia with my best friends Caroline, Mindy and Lucy! Unfortunately, I am NOT looking forward to leaving Carol there. 3. My 1 year anniversary with BJ on October 11th. 4. Buying a house - no offense Archstone, you have been just great - but I need a yard and some windows and to not live in a cave. 5. BJ finding the perfect job - my heart breaks for my hubby still on the job search - thank you Lord for your amazing provision along the way! 6....

So, I was not a marketing major, and rarely fall trap to marketing schemes - I am not someone who rushes out for the new toy, current trend or big sale. I do, however, thoroughly enjoy commercials that are well played. I hope you have at least seen one of these commercials before - but I will tell you - I literally almost cried the first time I saw them. Why? I don't know, but their marketing is funny. These 2 commercials make me want to burn my tastebuds on an entire bag of their candy right now... And now to my favorite, poor BJ has to hear me sing this 100x daily (in true mini fashion, mind you.) Will I go through the drive thru to pick up anything from this restaurant? Absolutely NOT. But will I pee in my pants every time they do a commercial? Absolutely. And finally, their newest installment, OMG this is awesome. I could have sworn this was going to be an Astrazeneca commercial with 800 warnings at the end. I mean, look at Jack's face the whole time.... ahhh haha ha... Tha...

I am SO happy to report that I was wrong in my post yesterday.... that is right folks, SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE premieres , THURSDAY, MAY 21!! ...that is one WHOLE week before it was originally planned to premiere! I know - contain your excitement..... Set your TIVOS and be prepared for the best summer programming FOX offers!

Well, I am probably the worst blogger in the world - I am okay with that. I am a faithful reader of the blogs I follow, and of that, I am proud! It is due time to update the title of this little blog - seeing as I have been Mrs. Rector for over 6 months - so be watching out for a fun new design (wink, wink Marina!). Life is SO super busy right now - I have gone from my wedding.... to hitting Spring Weddings hard here at DFW Events - we have 3 this weekend! And we pretty much stay strong until late fall - how fabulous is this job! I just love it so much - every weekend I get to be a part of a Bride and Groom's most special day - it still gets me; I cry almost every time we send a bride down the aisle... okay, I cry every time. LOVE IT!! Congrats to the many DFW Events Bride's getting married this weekend - and yay for Mondays being the new Saturday! I'll blog soon again, promise. (For my 3 readers.....) GO KRIS ALLEN!!

So many of you may already know this--but BJ loves Apple.  I mean I feel like he is passionate about their products, moderately obsessed, and just ridiculous sometimes if you ask me.  It could be regarding a computer, an ipod, or the Iphone.... once he starts talking, just know you will be chatting a while..... Today I was thinking about how much money we have given Mr. Apple and so let me just share all of the his products that BJ and I have collected and now have in our possession (this is sick, and I bet you all have even more!): 40G Generation 2 Ipod 80G Video Ipod 30 G Video Ipod Nano Ipod 2 Shuffles 2 MacBooks 2 Generation 1 Iphones... well, that is until today. About one month ago, BJ told me he was going to sell his Iphone and buy the new one when it came out... how ridiculous (I thought).  Who needs a new Iphone when not even a year ago we got them?  Apple... oh the tease you are.  Ridiculous until I found out that we could sell our phones, get new ones, and probably profit in...

 BJ and I have been tagged! And well, keeping in step with true blogger fashion, we will comply with this game passed by our dear friend, Mindy. What I was doing 10 years ago... Around July 1998 I actually worked at ASI Gymnastics in Addison, Texas.  Now, if you are one of my friends who took tumbling with me in college, you may very well be wondering WHY in the world they would hire me!  I was leading birthday parties and small summer camps for like 3 year olds--so I could keep up :).... other than that, I remember spending a lot of time laying out, heading to Kanakuk, and probably spending hours with Julia, Caroline, Jaclyn and Ashley. 5 things on my to-do list today... Managing our clients Save the Date personal deliveries to her guests, ordering more Baccarat hearts for these glorious Save the Dates, helping deliver these Save the Dates, paying my floral and cake deposit for OUR wedding, and getting home to Maebe (Ben and Kristen's dog) that I am housesitting this week! Snacks ...

Our plan when we started this blog was to update it regularly with fun, exciting news as we begin our life together. However, life is pretty crazy right now, and unfortunately we haven't been able to write in a while.... Summer is here, so BJ is going 100 miles and hour keeping up with kids around the clock (FUN!), and Karen, well she just started a new job working with DFW Events... all this excuse is to explain why you can't bore yourself with our updates... But, This is ALL changing. Stay tuned over the next few days.... we are turning over a new leaf and plan to keep you all informed and excited about the adventures of BJ and Karen! For now, enjoy this picture of my puppy, Kassie... what a cutie!

I am looking at the blog stuff and realize we get comments from people I, or we, have not spoken with in some time. We really love our friends and are blessed to have gotten to know so many wonderful people thus far in our lives. But, sometimes we feel bad. I am not sure how much keeping up with everyone is appropriate. We love every friend we have, and we both wish we had more time and ability to stay closer and in better touch with what is going on in everyone's life. But...let's be honest, lots of people are just closer in mileage. In this stage of life finding those around you to build a great community can be really hard. Jobs might be transitional and life has drastic changes. So the scramble to figure out where those old college friends, roommates, team members, church buddies, organization leaders and the mess of people that want to just be close to awesomeness can just wear a person out! Good thing Karen is great at details. We are really excited to see all of you at ...