A testimony. A resource. A memoir.

Around 8pm on July 30, 2010, my back started hurting so badly. Had I known I was having back labor, I would have met her that night. Instead.... tonight is the eve of the most magical girl in the world's birthday. My Eleanor Michael.  10 years. Two FULL hands. Closer to leaving home than the day we brought her to it. And truly, it feels like yesterday. The fastest years of my life. The best years of my life.  I'll never be able to fully express the love I have for all my kids - maybe not even fully understand the depth of it all myself, but I know this: they literally take my breath away. To know Eleanor, to truly KNOW her, is the greatest treasure.  She is witty, quick, compassionate, shy, loving, smart, funny, captivating and one of the oldest souls I know. She loves to play all kinds of make believe, but is her happiest when she is plopped in the middle of the adults and eavesdropping on their conversations.  She has gone from eating cottage cheese and chicken nug...

Its one of the most captivating things about our Eleanor. She is constantly brave.... in the face of things that scare, intimidate or challenge her we literally watch her overcome emotions of fear with a resolution that she can rise above it. For most of her life, we've celebrated this quality when we've seen her naturally act upon it. Many times, we've spoken it over her to remind her that we see this beautiful trait as we speak belief into whatever situation, trial or opportunity she has that may be holding her back. Our intentions have always been to celebrate the girl we see who is scared, but does it anyway. But you know what isn't easy? Watching your "brave" girl not being able to put into words that she is scared, or anxious, or needs help but doesn't know how to ask. This year when Eleanor transitioned to her new school, she had mixed emotions leading up to the first day, as naturally, all of us would have. She was going to be the only new girl i...

Tomorrow, you are seven. Eleanor..... do you even know how much my world has changed with you in it? You aren't perfect. But baby girl, you are everything. I'll never be able to put into words the magnitude of love my heart holds for you. I {love} hate the fact that I remember exactly, I mean EXACTLY, the moment when labor began with you and yet.... you are seven. you are SEVEN. how? sweetie, these years are going by so quickly... too quickly.... and my heart just can't keep up. I told someone a few months ago that I would give my right arm to get back those first few months with you for just a day... and I'm struggling repeating that sentiment today because I know in just a few short years I'll be pleading to repeat ages five, six, seven and beyond with you again. I've probably written this before but in case I haven't... I remember about two weeks after you were born I was walking in Northpark mall with you when a man came up to me and asked how old my...

I guess there is a part of me that really hates writing this, but at the same time I believe that it was no accident that yesterday's conversation with Eleanor took place. It always amazes me, it is literally constantly mind-blowing, how sanctifying child - bearing / rearing really is. Its like the Lord is trying to shake me…. "are you listening??? please tell me you heard that, Karen….". I just want to say I get it, today, I get it.  It really has all started ever since my little darling, precious, perfect angel baby turned 3 years old. Its as if something woke up this part of her that she nor I are familiar with… and well, if I am being completely honest a part that I am NOT loving. (Keeping it real here, sweetheart… you'll understand when you are a mom someday). It is as if Eleanor has realized that she can have an opinion about, well, what can't she have an opinion about?.... gasp. All of the sudden challenging momma's thoughts or ideas is not only pos...

Yesterday we celebrated Eleanor turning THREE years old. I have to pause for a moment.... I just said my baby girl is three. I literally feel as though life was put on lightning-speed mode once my kiddos were born. Throughout the day yesterday, I constantly had to remember that we were celebrating.... I purposefully made the biggest deal out of her third birthday making sure it was FUN, exciting and meaningful for her.... Eleanor, it was all for you, but at the same time I felt like I needed to make it such a big deal because this sentimental momma was actually having a pretty tough time coming to grips with how fast it has all seemed to zoom past us. I kept thinking about the mundane and monotonous days that we sometimes have and how it seems like the hours last for days.... and how in that moment, yesterday, I wished for each hour to slow down a bit more. I wanted it to feel long, I wanted to sit and hold her, I wanted to listen to her talk or sing to herself while playing with her t...

Yep, just a few months shy of her THIRD birthday, I am finally sitting down to make sure I have her second birthday party post for our memories..... from the moment Tripper was born, Eleanor found great friendship with the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.... she had never shown interest in television until right around 15 months.... and when she found Mickey, she became quite the fan! So of course when it was time to celebrate her birthday, we couldn't think of anything more perfect than celebrating in Eleanor's clubhouse.... on her birthday, July 31... We kept the party real simple... kind of tried to create a "waterpark" feel in our little backyard, but we definitely learned a few lessons. Summer birthday parties need to be inside or in a real pool. Kids has a blast - parents left just as wet as the kids, but with sweat... yuck. Oh Texas heat, you are brutal! Regardless, Eleanor just had the time of her life.... For food - we did Hot Dogs (duh, Goofy), Mickey-shaped pea...

Last week, Dot and I took the kids to San Antonio when BJ was traveling.... while there, we hit up some favorites from when I was younger and even from when my mom was little! First stop, the Train at Brackenridge Park. Eleanor is all about trains, now, because this was SUCH a fun experience for her! I remember riding it, myself, when I was probably 4-5 years old... so fun!   Eleanor could not get over the conductor.... every time he said something on the speaker and then had the train go "Choo Choo" she went nuts!   After our train ride, we headed over to Kiddie Park. This little amusement park opened in 1925.... my mom even remembers going to play here when she was little... it is so cute and was recently renovated in 2009. Holy moly, this place did not disappoint my girl. I just wish I got more pictures! Next time!!   Eleanor was VERY picky when choosing the horse she would ride on the carousel.... it took abut 4-5 options before she finally decide...