A testimony. A resource. A memoir.

Today is an anniversary that I imagine many who have one, like me, hate to recognize. It was in the wee hours of the morning just one year ago that I woke up and knew.... that precious Baby #3 that my body was carrying, was no longer going to be a baby I would carry on earth. To say it was horrific would be an understatement. Not just because of the physical act in and of itself, but because in that very moment hopes, dreams, plans for our future were stolen. I remember being so matter-of-fact when I told BJ what was happening... its was about 4am, so it kind of seemed matter-of-fact. But it was in waking up that morning... realizing it wasn't a dream. It was a nightmare... my real life nightmare. Something strange happened as I lost that sweet baby... many of my close friends are aware, but about 10 days later I had a pretty bad fall while picking up Tripp. When I fell, I didn't get back on my feet for the next 5 weeks (literally) with the exception of Eleanor's birthday...

Today is a big day in the Rector household. Today begins a new era for our family. I don’t know if I can adequately put my feelings into words to describe where we are, the changes that today bring, and all that they mean for us. But I’ll try.  In July 2012 I began a (little) journey that was completely foreign to me. After the transition home from event planning to raising Eleanor and Tripp, I quickly realized that living under a tight budget was possible, but scary considering how expensive life is and will continue to be. I knew that BJ was doing what he could to give me what I desired most… the chance to be home and raise our babies. The toll was large because it took him out of the home, sometimes out of the city, to provide financially for our family to look the way it did.  So when I was introduced to a little business called Rodan + Fields, I was intrigued by the simple fact that inside my home, on my terms, in my yoga pants and during nap time, I could bring in ...

I'll never forget writing this letter…. I thought about it all day and would not allow myself to go to bed until I had written it. I wanted Baby #3 to know my exact thoughts the day I learned of them - just like I had for Eleanor and Tripp. I guess the funny (actually, not funny at all) thing about writing it, was that I was scared the whole time. I was so nervous that if I actually put my thoughts on paper (or in the computer) that anything going wrong would be magnified that much more. I call that funny only because I really didn't have that with E and T…. of course I was always nervous or scared that I could lose them in the womb, but I don't know if I can explain it. Just a different feeling…. one that I guess I couldn't really believe it was that easy again, pregnant for the third time., and it felt really fragile. So I wrote what is below…. knowing that the letter to our sweet Baby #3 would be the first in their baby book (um, this blog) like E and T both have....

I don't do this very often any more.  Write blog entries that is.  So I have been thinking recently about wanting to bless Karen.  I need to first say that there are many reasons that she is worth blessing.  There are multiple ways in which she blesses me.  I know of no more lasting and descriptive way to encourage her and remind the people in our lives what a tremendous person she is, than the use of words in written form. Karen is a centrist Christian woman.  I use the term centrist because there are fringe ideologies (not unimportant, just not most important) which do not bear the weight of essential gospel identity.  She keeps herself very close to the center truths that Jesus taught.  There are lots of deep and impressive aspects she knows about scripture and christian living.  But when she lives and teaches and speaks with people you will hear a central focal idea.  Jesus has given her the passion to embrace people ...

Last week, Dot and I took the kids to San Antonio when BJ was traveling.... while there, we hit up some favorites from when I was younger and even from when my mom was little! First stop, the Train at Brackenridge Park. Eleanor is all about trains, now, because this was SUCH a fun experience for her! I remember riding it, myself, when I was probably 4-5 years old... so fun!   Eleanor could not get over the conductor.... every time he said something on the speaker and then had the train go "Choo Choo" she went nuts!   After our train ride, we headed over to Kiddie Park. This little amusement park opened in 1925.... my mom even remembers going to play here when she was little... it is so cute and was recently renovated in 2009. Holy moly, this place did not disappoint my girl. I just wish I got more pictures! Next time!!   Eleanor was VERY picky when choosing the horse she would ride on the carousel.... it took abut 4-5 options before she finally decide...

  Happy Easter 2012! It seems so crazy that last Easter we were telling everyone about Baby Rector #2, and now, Tripper boy is not only here, but he is the most snuggly little four month old cutie. We had a GREAT day celebrating the anniversary of Jesus conquering death once and for all. Thank you, Lord, for your precious gift of salvation... by your wounds, we have been healed! So, it wasn't necessarily the prettiest of days... so there are a few fails from this Easter: 1. No family picture, 2. No extended family pictures either, 3. Easter egg hunt INSIDE of my house. Oh well...  at least the day was spent with the ones that we love... my parents, brothers and sisters, BJs parents and our dear friends the Litzners ( the Rives joined after their family activities). Tripper Boy's Easter outfit was TOO small (we at least got his pictures taken in the Bluebonnets wearing it) so he was our casual little guy... still pretty cute if you ask me.   And Eleanor ju...

On February 18, 2012 the cutest little booger joined our family! Charles Reed Gross 6:48am - 7lbs, 3oz - 20.25in Charlie and his beautiful Momma, Auntie Kristen....   And a VERY tired Daddy, Uncle Benny...   Look at that little yawn!   Tripper boy and his newest buddy, cousin Charlie!   Eleanor wasn't too sure what to think... I think she was confused that the baby wasn't Tripp but was still a baby.... she knew to call him Cousin, though!   The Gross kiddos with the next generation! Why BJ and Kristen weren't in the picture? Not sure. Except that BJ was the photographer and Kristen was in the hospital bed.   Same here... why isn't Eleanor in this picture??   Seeing as Aunt Kristen was in labor all night, when we got to the hospital they were ZONKED!! So Grandpa and Dot Dot had to entertain Eleanor and Tripp until it was time to meet their cousin.   Love me that smile from Tripper boy....   The new ...

It is safe to say that this Christmas was a little different than normal... we had a new baby, I was recovering from a C-section, BJ was in transition to a new job and family came to us. Although it was a quieter holiday, we were truly blessed with a lot of family time and that was the best gift ever. We did manage to take Eleanor on a small Christmas outing to Bass Pro Shops... they had a Santa and a carousel that we knew she would love. Honestly, besides going to see Santa at the Galleria with Lucy this was the only Christmas activity we did. WAH-WAH.   Uncle Benny and Auntie Kristen traveled to Washington for Christmas, so they came over a few days before to give Eleanor and Tripp their gifts.... opening this gift was just a small preview of the FUN we knew Eleanor would have this year!    I mean, she got the Popper... didn't we all have one of these when we were younger?! On Christmas Eve, Pamie came to celebrate with us and showered Eleanor and Tripp wit...