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So this is what it feels like...

I have become a wreck over the past few months... literally. I have turned into a version of myself that is completely new and unfamiliar - in some ways, this is NOT a good thing... in others, I believe it is. Regardless, I am going to go ahead and chalk it all up to being pregnant - fair right? I mean, it seems like some of these new qualities / flaws / feelings popped up overnight. I will now divulge a thorough, but non-exhaustive list of the changes I have been noticing.

In NO particular order, "what it feels like to be pregnant", according to Karen:

*I could sleep all day. Literally I get up and start getting ready, eat breakfast, dress for the day and am ready to nap... or better yet, go back to bed until the following morning. My night sleep never seems enough (so should I be honest and admit that I go to bed most nights before 10pm now? WOW - embarrassing. The nights I try to stay up later... well, I end up falling asleep on the couch as a result).

*I can smell everything. I mean it.... ask BJ on this one (it is driving him nuts). Did you have corn for lunch yesterday? Yes you... even though you have brushed your teeth, twice if not three times since, I still smell it on your breath. Even though we aren't in the same room... Sorry. For you and for me.

*Cravings have changed. For example: I didn't eat red meat for the past 6 years, however, on the way home from Colorado about a month ago we approached a city that only had McDonalds as an option... me being STARVING sat trying to figure out what in the world I would eat. Mindy proceeds to tell me that they have great cheeseburgers (barf)... but then she started explaining... ketchup, mustard, pickle, onion... all I know is I literally started drooling in the car. I have had 4 "Happy Meals" since.

*While on food - I am ALWAYS hungry. For a while the thought of food could (and often did) make me "lose my lunch", if you will. But something has started happening in the last week or so... I am a human garbage disposal. Ask BJ: the other day I was walking through what I had eaten and before I was even through my afternoon snack with was laughing out loud. I would take you back to that fateful day, but instead will keep my dignity.

*I am an emotional wreck - I have literally cried seeing things that do not elicit tears - I mean, how many of you would like to admit that they have cried in an episode of The Bachelor? Sadly enough... I have. I cry at commercials, I cry during worship at church, I cry if you look at me funny, I cry if you do something sweet.... I am a VERY sensitive person all of the sudden. This little virtue also has an evil twin-sister... I hate it about myself, but I am finding myself very short-fused, snappy and sometimes downright rude. Hate it.

*I have become UBER-sentimental... I find myself caring deeply about this silliest things - it could be a note, a sweater I have had since high school that I cannot part with, the stuffed elephant Maxwell that I sleep with every night (not a joke), to my family. I just can't talk to my parents enough, talk to BJ enough... just to check on them, even... just brings me comfort.

*I dream some CRAZY dreams - like "Save the Turkeys" weird. I think I need to start writing them down in the morning because there are some great screenplays for Tim Burton in my dreams... maybe I will write a book... literally, they are VERY entertaining.

*Even though I am still in my regular clothes (wooop wooop!), I am not too proud to admit most days if just feels right to unbutton my pants at the end of my day... gets a little claustrophobic following dinner, so it is a nice treat I give myself. Likewise, I need to go shopping for some lady undergarments (embarrassing) because it is time up there, maybe past time.

*I constantly think about / pray for the baby in my belly. I can be doing 35 other things and he/she is never off of my mind. Unfortunately some of my thoughts can lead to worry or fear, sometimes to an overwhelming joy, but all in all to just the surreal feeling that a life is being formed, A SOUL, inside of me... (insert the emotional part of Karen... I just started crying). I am so humbled and can't believe that BJ and I actually get the amazing blessing to shepherd one of God's creations in our very own home... what will it be? what will they look like? what will they be like? will she be a dancer? will he play baseball? will they be my friend even when they are in high school ("I'm a cool mom" - think Regina George's mom in Mean Girls - um no.. haha!)?

Like I said, there are so many other sensations that just are new / exciting / different about being pregnant thus far... these are just a few that I was thinking about today.... probably because it is raining outside, I am tired, hungry, but I have eaten enough already that I wish I could unbutton my pants, and I am just humbled by the reality of why I feel all of these amazing sensations... I love this baby.

Comments

Jessica said…
All SOOOO totally normal!! Welcome to the world of motherhood! It's such a great ride, all of it. Have fun.
Oh, the things I cried at during my pregnancy... my favorite are the elephant act at the circus and the Finding Nemo musical at Disney World. I have no explanation for either. Welcome to the most interesting/amazing time of your life!
Lynn said…
i'm not even pregnant and i am getting emotional & sentimental every time i think of you & beej! i love you both and wish you JOY unspeakable daily. i know beej must be tickled at this new supersensitive side of you!
the LORD BLESS you and keep you and give you, SHALOM ~ love ~ aunt lynnie

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